Sex vs Love

Sex vs Love

Love: 1. An intense affectionate concern for another person. 2. An intense sexual desire for another person. 3. To become enamored of or sexually attracted to someone. 4. A strong fondness or enthusiasm for something. 5. Often used as a term of endearment. 6. To copulate 7. To embrace or caress. 8. To like or desire enthusiastically; delight in. 9. To thrive on; need.

Synonyms: love, affection, devotion, fondness, infatuation. Love suggests a feeling more intense and less susceptible to control than that associated with the other words of this group. Devotion is dedication and attachment to a person or thing; contrasted with love it, implies a more selfless and often a more settled feeling. Infatuation is extravagant attraction or attachment to a person or thing, usually short in duration.

Empathy: Understanding so intimate that the feelings, thoughts and motives of one are readily comprehended by another.

Believe it or not sex was not invented by your generation or mine.
It's been popular with every generation since Adam and Eve.
If your parents hadn't had sex you wouldn't be here.

Sex is often referred to as making love. Are sex and love then the same thing? Can you have sex without love or love without sex? Prostitution is often spoken of as the oldest profession. So you can have sex for physical pleasure and/or monetary reward without love being a part of it. You don't make love, you have sex.

Love at first sight is not love it is infatuation

There are many differences in the male and female of our species both physically and mentally. These differences have been there since the beginning and were deemed by nature to be necessary for the survival of the species. Men are turned on by sight, women are excited by words. When a man sees a beautiful woman natural chemistry processes that he has no control over take place in his body. His heart may begin to race, his palms may sweat, an actual pain may be felt in the lower area of his abdomen, etc. This is just one of natures long standing ways (not man's way) of ensuring the propogation of the species. He can not control these chemical processes the only thing that is under his control is how he responds to them.

This does'nt happen to a woman when she sees a handsome man. In general women are physically not as strong as men, they were and still are more vulnerable to predators. Their basic need is security. When they become pregnate their need for security increases because pregnancy puts them in a more vulnerable position. Therefore a woman needs to be convinced that her needs will be taken care of during her time of increased vulnerability and during the time it takes for her offspring to reach maturity. A woman needs to be told she looks nice, is loved, has a good personality, is smart, etc. This satisfies her basic need for security. However, a woman after she has been married, had her children and/or in some way been disappointed or feels that she has been wronged by a man will develope a strong distaste for sex. Her feeling of security has been broken. Her self-worth will have been debased. She will then see sex as being dirty not loving.

The old adage "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach" is bogus. The way to a man's heart is through his groin. The way to a woman's heart is through her need to feel secure. But, it doesn't stop there!

Psychuous Love - Reality Based Love

Psychuous: A word describing integrations that combine the activities of the
mind, body and emotions to continually increase prosperity, happiness and romantic love.

Happiness of man or woman is not based on sex or pleasure. It is based on Self-esteem. Self-esteem is a person's estimation of his or her own self-worth and is dependent on one's effectiveness in dealing with reality. A high level of self-esteem requires a commitment to objectivity and honesty. Objectivity and honesty are not automatic. They come only through hard work and awareness.

Within a romantic-love relationship, sex adds an intensity to human pleasure unattainable elsewhere in life. Pleasures, financial prosperity, romantic love and long-range happiness are rewards of a productive, honest life.

Personal emotions possess an untouchable ownership and privacy, Emotions are subject neither to criticism nor judgment. Only ACTIONS can be criticized or judged as right or wrong. Feelings and emotions can have a rational or irrational basis, but they are never "right" or "wrong". Emotions are spontaneous, automatic reactions that are not in the immediate or direct control of a person. No one should ever feel guilty about any emotion. A person is responsible and should only be held accountable for the actions he or she takes. Also since feelings and emotions are often subjective, making moral judgements of others on the basis of one's own personal feelings and emotons is unsound and unfair.

The term "Cheating on Me" is miss-used.
A person can only be cheated, when they are putting more into a relationship
then they are getting out of it. And in that case it is time to terminate the relationship.

Every relationship can be evaluated in either "good for me" or "bad for me" terms. Love partners, for example, can evaluate their relationship by how much it increases or decreases their well-being and happiness. A sacrifice-free, romantic relationship allows both partners to fill their physical, emotional and intellectual needs without any losses or compromises. And over the long term, a person can honestly love only in a relationship from which benefits and pleasure evolve and grow.

Three Basic Views of Sex and Love Exist:

1. The religous-procreative child bearing sex view. Contradictions and guilt in this type of sex make psychuous pleasures and romantic love almost impossible.

2. The recreational-fun-noncommitted or "Playboy" view, an even more devastating view, since it is usually coupled with performance anxieties along with demands to be a sexy person by someone else's standards. Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with being sexy. It depends on how and why you need to feel sexy.

3. The psychuous-sex view which permits growth of mutual values, open-minded happiness, and genuine sexual pleasures for both partners without regard to what others outside the relationship consider right or wrong.

Judge not on outside relationships or accusations leveled by perhaps jealous, envious or gossipy persons but on the terms of your own relationship to each other. The amount of happiness, pleasure and completeness that each can provide for the other and the feelings that you process when together and especially on GROWTH OF THE RELATIONSHIP as time passes. For these are the things that true loving-relationships are built upon.

Homosexuality/Lesbianism and Same Sex Marriage
Virginia or Genitals

There's only one thing that a man and a woman get from each other that he/she can not get from a same sex relationship. Companionship, understanding, compassion, etc can be obtained from either sex. So what can you say about it? It's like ice-cream. If you like vanilla & I like chocolate does there have to be a reason for our preferences or is it just a matter of taste. Was I born with a taste for vanilla and you a taste for chocolate maybe, maybe not. If I like both vanilla and chocolate am I bi-icecream? Who cares?

The same is true of sex it is simply a choice of virginia or genitals. If a man is attracted to other men or a woman is attracted to other women why should anyone else care? Except for the fact that one decreases the competition and the other makes it more competitive. I for one consider it to my advantage to eliminate as much competition as possible the more gay men there are the better.

We don't need Gay rights or any other group rights.
We only need to respect individual rights.

Gays are individuals just like all other groups of people. They have a right to their own lifestyles and deserve to be treated equally. Being gay is neither something to be ashamed or proud of. It is neither right or wrong, it is a choice just like chocolate and vanilla. The only real problem with same sex marriage is that same sex couples can not without help carry on one basic fundamental of nature: propagation of the species. They can never truely have a child of their own. It will always be someone elses child as well.

The single most important cause in the universe is the individual!
If we do right by the individual we do right by all races, groups, religions etc.
Governments, religions and causes do not feel pain, experience emotions
or feel remorse. Any cause that does not treat the individual with
dignity and compassion is a false cause.